I was watching the television show "How to Get Away with Murder" and Annalise Keaton was writing a response to the Superior Court about a case she was working on and she started it with this sentence, "How we treat a person during the darkest moments of their lives is the benchmark of humanity." This really resonated with me and it caused me to think about my darkest hours. My husband and I had some very dark moments in 2016 going into 2017. When we were faced with the report that our desire to have children was once again threatened and this time it seemed that it was final, darkness fell over us. After discovering our choices after the diagnosis, we knew immediately that we were in for the fight of our lives. We told those closest to us the news and asked that they first be in prayer with us, that they be patient with us and stand with us as we found first the strength and then the wisdom to obtain victory. We knew that it was going to take every ounce our body, soul and mind to get through this dark cloud to unleash the power of healing within us. The journey out of the dark for us was difficult. It was hard. It was confusing, and we got lost sometimes. And each month that passed, it seemed we were getting further and further away from our dream of a family it seemed like everyone who we thought would be there for us, wasn’t! Some fell off immediately. That was expected. But many of those who expressed and reassured us that they were in it for the long haul and were committed to seeing us have a family as we had been committed to them and their families quickly disappeared. And as the sun began to peak and eventually shine through the proverbial clouds in the middle of 2017 we looked around at who was still walking with us, and we saw the faithful. We saw those that were loyal, kind, generous and who were committed to us like we were committed to them. We saw those that were loyal, kind, generous and who were committed to us and our dreams as we were to them. The riders for life were still walking with us. You can see clearly whose for you in the darkest moments of your life. So, when I heard that quote from Annalise Keaton, it spoke to the truth, you truly can see who and what people are made of when the lights are turned off in your life. The 20/20 that the darkness brings is a blessing. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, the darkness was a blessing in disguise. It allowed us to grow closer to Him and depend on Him more instead of man. When it was all said and done, we knew beyond a doubt that it was nobody but our Father that carried us through that dark place. And it also allowed us to see those who are truly down for us. Not everyone is going to step up and stand with you as you muddle through the pitch-black tunnels and barely lit valleys of life; that's okay. It's tempting to get in your feelings. I know because I had to really check my feelings as we went thru this because we are those people that walk thru the darkness of the valley with those we love as leaving someone in the dark is just not a good look. So I know it's easy to get upset when those who promised to be there disappear when they know we need them the most. But don’t! That’s all a part of the Father's plan. To shine the light on those who will be and on the ONE who will ALWAYS be, Him. He is the source of light and the earthly relationships are just an extension of who He is. Sometimes we get too dependent on others that we forget that our Father is the only one that can support us, love us and lead us out of the dark into the marvelous light. If this thought has been profitable to you, please share with your friends and family. Like or click the social share button or leave a comment in the box below for Pastor Yolanda.
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We all have been given incredible gifts that goes beyond talent. 1 Corinthians 12: 1 tells us that our Father who is the bestows these gifts does not want us to be ignorant to our spiritual gifts. But as I reflect and think over my life I was never ignorant to the fact that I had gifts. I always knew I had gifts however, I was confused as to where to use my gifts, as the places that I thought they could be used I was told it was either "too much" or it was "abused," "manipulated," or "misappropriated." So, because of what people who I entrusted my gifts to did with my gifts I became so disheartened that I fooled myself in thinking that my gifts did not have a place in the world. Therefore, I let them sit unopened. You see I never really developed the gifts my Father bestowed upon me, because I allowed people in my family, on my jobs and in the churches I attended to discourage me from using my gifts. However, when I no longer feared criticism and allowed envy and jealously to discourage what I know God had graced me to be and do, did I begin to serve Him more freely, fearlessly, and unapologetically. And because I am using the gifts with passion and zeal I have discovered gifts that I never knew existed. It blows my mind to see gifts that have laid dormant come alive. Someone just recently told me that I look "so free" and that's because I have opened the gifts my loving Father bestowed upon me and He is developing them, and I am wearing them with grace, freely, fiercely and fearlessly. And you know what, God has graced you too, and your gifts can look good on you too. Have you framed your gift on the wall? Or perhaps you have opened it and not using it because you don't know what to do with it? Or have you left your gift unopened and unappreciated? The Most High didn’t create us and save us to just sit but to serve! He gave us ALL a spiritual gift. Ephesians 4:7 says, "But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ”. Hence, if you're a child of The Highest, you are graced with a gift. And each of His children are given something to do that shows who God is: "Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits". (1 Corinthian 12:4-11, Message) But you don’t choose your spiritual gift any more than you choose your natural gifts—like the color of your eyes or skin. Just as you get natural talents genetically by your first birth, your spiritual gift is given to you at your new birth. It is supernatural. You can develop your natural gifts, and you can develop your supernatural gifts. Never despise someone else's gift, because "all kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit, and to all kinds of people! The variety is wonderful. God’s various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit." (1 Corinthian 12:4-11, Message) So you wear what God has graced you with because as one body we will bring glory to our Heavenly Father who freely bestowed His Spirit on each of us. As a gifted child you can’t leave your gift in the box or sitting on the wall collecting dust. Find out what God wants you to do and get busy doing it. Focus on serving Him because when you serve Him, joy begins to flow, and you live in fulfillment. So today, accept yourself, unwrap your gift, surrender yourself and then work your grace for the glory of God. If this thought has been profitable to you, please share with your friends and family. Like or click the social share button or leave a comment in the box below for Pastor Yolanda. On November 30, 2011, I officially leaped into the calling placed on my life as a child. I ran from it for so many years trying to make my life what I wanted it to be. If you know me, I always stated that "ministry" was something that I would do in my spare time. My goal was for my husband and I to own our own business, have 2.5 children (the .5 would be the dog) and we would have the house with the white picket fence. I would "volunteer" at church and give service to my various committees. After growing up a "PK" (preachers kid) and knowing what life in ministry truly is, being in ministry was not first on my list. But this was not aligned with the purpose God had for my life. It took me over 20 years to finally surrender to it. And this was after suddenly losing my father, one of the most influential and significant people in my life. After His death in 2008 I was confronted with my own mortality and destiny. On November 11, 2011 I hosted "Putting on a New You. A time to Reflect, Renew, Redo" Retreat at Chateau Elan. That Retreat changed the trajectory of my life. Afterwards I knew that I was called to a purpose greater than myself and that it was time to step into it. I informed those closest to me at work that 2012 I would not be working there. Being a vessel that God move through to bring restoration, renewal and transformation changed me. Two weeks after the Retreat I wrote these thoughts in The Sanctuary on Facebook. November 30, 2011 After writing these words I did much praying, contemplating and a whole lot of talking with my husband. And we came to a conclusion and I shared the following with Facebook: December 11, 2011 And I did exactly that. On December 13, 2011 I resigned from my position as a Revenue Agent. I resigned from this position knowing that I would take a decrease in pay and benefits. My husband supported the decision however he and I were scared. I do not have to go into how this decision in the natural did not look like very wise. However, I felt in my spirit that this was necessary to do what was I purposed to do. You see that position although it appeared to be prestigious and lucrative, was extremely stressful and emotionally draining. And the salary was not commensurate to the duties that I was performing. But it was a good, stable, government job. Who wouldn't want this in this economy? In the natural I appeared to be very foolish to be leaving this job to work from home, making less. But when you are walking in “Faith”, you don’t believe in the natural you believe in the spiritual and the spiritual is the unseen. I took that LEAP OF FAITH not knowing what or who was there to catch me. All I knew was that I was "purpose motivated". I was tired of living the mundane and I was ready to live on purpose. Shortly thereafter, I began to have prayer sessions in my home with 2 other women that I knew from the church I had attended in my home in January 20, 2012. 6 years ago, I surrendered totally to the mantle placed on my life. I begin to deliberately die to myself, my wants and desires and I focused in on what God wanted for me. When I took that leap of faith I had no idea what was waiting for me at the bottom. All I knew was that I had to trust in the purpose and plan that God has for my life. So, if he told me to LEAP in with FAITH I had to trust that He would not let me fall. Not going to front I was scared as to what was at the bottom but I had to remember that my Father did not give me a spirit of fear. I took a giant leap and without fail; my strong, powerful all-knowing Father was there to catch me. And He caught me each time I leaped to experience a new level. Even when the divide between the known and unknown grew wider, He continues to catch me. This journey has gotten better and better, in addition to sweeter and sweeter. True to scripture, as I have sought His Kingdom He has given me the desires of my heart. I have always had a desire to write and to be a published author as I have been an avid reader from the time I was able to read; I love books. I also have used writing to bring forth vision, healing, and restoration to my life and to be able to write, influence others to a place of healing from my writings brings me fulfillment. Hence the reason why the release of the Sharing Our Prayers Anthology is the fulfillment of a vision. But even with this, I had to take a leap of faith. And in my Father’s providential way, He was there to catch me to take me to a new level. I am so honored and humbled to be able to collaborative of a piece of work that speaks directly to who I am as a person. I have experience such flood of emotion as I have watch my Father orchestrate and position me from a very unfulfilled unhappy state to a state of bliss. That only happened once I took the leap of faith which catapulted me to a super superlative life! Selah. If this thought has been profitable to you, please share with your friends and family. Like or click the social share button or leave a comment in the box below for Pastor Yolanda. |
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