I was watching the television show "How to Get Away with Murder" and Annalise Keaton was writing a response to the Superior Court about a case she was working on and she started it with this sentence, "How we treat a person during the darkest moments of their lives is the benchmark of humanity." This really resonated with me and it caused me to think about my darkest hours.
My husband and I had some very dark moments in 2016 going into 2017. When we were faced with the report that our desire to have children was once again threatened and this time it seemed that it was final, darkness fell over us. After discovering our choices after the diagnosis, we knew immediately that we were in for the fight of our lives. We told those closest to us the news and asked that they first be in prayer with us, that they be patient with us and stand with us as we found first the strength and then the wisdom to obtain victory. We knew that it was going to take every ounce our body, soul and mind to get through this dark cloud to unleash the power of healing within us. The journey out of the dark for us was difficult. It was hard. It was confusing, and we got lost sometimes. And each month that passed, it seemed we were getting further and further away from our dream of a family it seemed like everyone who we thought would be there for us, wasn’t! Some fell off immediately. That was expected. But many of those who expressed and reassured us that they were in it for the long haul and were committed to seeing us have a family as we had been committed to them and their families quickly disappeared. And as the sun began to peak and eventually shine through the proverbial clouds in the middle of 2017 we looked around at who was still walking with us, and we saw the faithful. We saw those that were loyal, kind, generous and who were committed to us like we were committed to them. We saw those that were loyal, kind, generous and who were committed to us and our dreams as we were to them. The riders for life were still walking with us. You can see clearly whose for you in the darkest moments of your life.
So, when I heard that quote from Annalise Keaton, it spoke to the truth, you truly can see who and what people are made of when the lights are turned off in your life. The 20/20 that the darkness brings is a blessing.
Although I didn’t realize it at the time, the darkness was a blessing in disguise. It allowed us to grow closer to Him and depend on Him more instead of man. When it was all said and done, we knew beyond a doubt that it was nobody but our Father that carried us through that dark place. And it also allowed us to see those who are truly down for us.
Not everyone is going to step up and stand with you as you muddle through the pitch-black tunnels and barely lit valleys of life; that's okay. It's tempting to get in your feelings. I know because I had to really check my feelings as we went thru this because we are those people that walk thru the darkness of the valley with those we love as leaving someone in the dark is just not a good look. So I know it's easy to get upset when those who promised to be there disappear when they know we need them the most. But don’t! That’s all a part of the Father's plan. To shine the light on those who will be and on the ONE who will ALWAYS be, Him. He is the source of light and the earthly relationships are just an extension of who He is. Sometimes we get too dependent on others that we forget that our Father is the only one that can support us, love us and lead us out of the dark into the marvelous light.
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Because I am always in thought and a vessel of truth, I have no choice but to give them to you with no filter. Take a moment to read my very authentic and vunerable thoughts.