Leap into Vision

On November 30, 2011, I officially leaped into the calling placed on my life as a child. I ran from it for so many years trying to make my life what I wanted it to be. If you know me, I always stated that "ministry" was something that I would do in my spare time. My goal was for my husband and I to own our own business, have 2.5 children (the .5 would be the dog) and we would have the house with the white picket fence. I would "volunteer" at church and give service to my various committees. After growing up a "PK" (preachers kid) and knowing what life in ministry truly is, being in ministry was not first on my list. But this was not aligned with the purpose God had for my life. It took me over 20 years to finally surrender to it. And this was after suddenly losing my father, one of the most influential and significant people in my life. After His death in 2008 I was confronted with my own mortality and destiny.

On November 11, 2011 I hosted "Putting on a New You. A time to Reflect, Renew, Redo" Retreat at Chateau Elan. That Retreat changed the trajectory of my life. Afterwards I knew that I was called to a purpose greater than myself and that it was time to step into it. I informed those closest to me at work that 2012 I would not be working there. Being a vessel that God move through to bring restoration, renewal and transformation changed me. Two weeks after the Retreat I wrote these thoughts in The Sanctuary on Facebook.

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November 30, 2011

Today I am at a crossroads. I have to make a major decision that could affect me adversely or favorably. I have been offered an opportunity that I know will allow me to have a peace of mind and allow me to work the "VISION" that God has placed in me. I want to make the right decision and have been praying as to which path to take.

If I say "No," I will have stability, but I will be miserable and unhappy. If I say
"Yes," it will give me a peace of mind and allow me to work the "vision". So, the sensible, practical side of me is telling me to say "No" and wait until all
things are "perfect." However, my spirit and heart are telling me to say "Yes"
because it so desire to be in purpose.

I am pretty sure as the road I will take...and I know that it will require a true
test of my faith. I wanted to share this with you today to say...that as you
work on your vision and move into and towards your purpose that there will be some hard decisions and choices that you will have to make. They may not seem rational, sane, or logical and you, along with people in your life, will doubt and even criticize your decision. But we have to know that when you are walking in purpose it is not easy.... but you have to stand on what you know God is doing in you and that we have to have faith and believe in something bigger and greater than US!

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1

After writing these words I did much praying, contemplating and a whole lot of talking with my husband. And we came to a conclusion and I shared the following with Facebook:

December 11, 2011

Well, I have been quiet this week as I have had a lot going on personally and
professionally. I have experienced such a range of so many emotions and feelings that they have been at times overwhelming. But what's so ironic is that it all of it was and is working together for my "good". You ask how is that possible? Well the series of events that occurred in my "personal" life.... convinced me that the decision I was making in "professional' life would be the best for all parts of me. 

And since I have made the decision I have had so many feelings and to be transparent...I have had feelings of fear and anxiety. However, I dare not succumb to these feelings. I have owned them and have cast them down. I will not let fear prevent me from taking the next step or the next one.... if anything, it has motivated me to press forward. What I learned this week is that fear will keep you in bondage...in situations, relationships and jobs that are toxic. But you stay in it because it may be all you know and it’s comfortable...but then eventually it becomes so toxic that you have no choice and it forces you out! 

So, with this enlightenment I took that LEAP OF FAITH and have officially made the first step into my "PURPOSE". I am so excited to see what God is going to do in the next season of my life.
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And I did exactly that. On December 13, 2011 I resigned from my position as a Revenue Agent. I resigned from this position knowing that I would take a decrease in pay and benefits. My husband supported the decision however he and I were scared. I do not have to go into how this decision in the natural did not look like very wise. However, I felt in my spirit that this was necessary to do what was I purposed to do. You see that position although it appeared to be prestigious and lucrative, was extremely stressful and emotionally draining. And the salary was not commensurate to the duties that I was performing. But it was a good, stable, government job. Who wouldn't want this in this economy? In the natural I appeared to be very foolish to be leaving this job to work from home, making less. But when you are walking in “Faith”, you don’t believe in the natural you believe in the spiritual and the spiritual is the unseen. I took that LEAP OF FAITH not knowing what or who was there to catch me. All I knew was that I was "purpose motivated". I was tired of living the mundane and I was ready to live on purpose. Shortly thereafter, I began to have prayer sessions in my home with 2 other women that I knew from the church I had attended in my home in January 20, 2012. 6 years ago, I surrendered totally to the mantle placed on my life. I begin to deliberately die to myself, my wants and desires and I focused in on what God wanted for me.
 
When I took that leap of faith I had no idea what was waiting for me at the bottom. All I knew was that I had to trust in the purpose and plan that God has for my life. So, if he told me to LEAP in with FAITH I had to trust that He would not let me fall. Not going to front I was scared as to what was at the bottom but I had to remember that my Father did not give me a spirit of fear. I took a giant leap and without fail; my strong, powerful all-knowing Father was there to catch me. And He caught me each time I leaped to experience a new level. Even when the divide between the known and unknown grew wider, He continues to catch me.
 
This journey has gotten better and better, in addition to sweeter and sweeter. True to scripture, as I have sought His Kingdom He has given me the desires of my heart. I have always had a desire to write and to be a published author as I have been an avid reader from the time I was able to read; I love books. I also have used writing to bring forth vision, healing, and restoration to my life and to be able to write, influence others to a place of healing from my writings brings me fulfillment. Hence the reason why the release of the Sharing Our Prayers Anthology is the fulfillment of a vision. But even with this, I had to take a leap of faith. And in my Father’s providential way, He was there to catch me to take me to a new level. I am so honored and humbled to be able to collaborative of a piece of work that speaks directly to who I am as a person. I have experience such flood of emotion as I have watch my Father orchestrate and position me from a very unfulfilled  unhappy state to  a state of bliss. That only happened once I took the leap of faith which catapulted me to a super superlative life! 

​Selah.
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