I Am Angry As…..

Yes, that's how close it is to say something that you will regret later when you are angry. When you are angry you are liable to say and do anything. How do I know this? Anger was my Achilles heels. Anger is an emotion common to all people and it was very common for me. Now I was not one to walk around angry and mad all the time. But when you pushed me past my limits the person you knew as a ray of sunshine turned into a raging bull with red in her eyes. I was possessed with an anger that was not going to go away until any and everyone in my path was hurting like I was. When I became angry I had no filter. I would read you for filth and no topic or person was off limits. And I was ready to fight if I said those fighting words. I went for blood; I wasn't going to stop until I tasted it. It was so apparent my father nicknamed me "Lil Mike Tyson." This anger was destructive and almost destroyed me. And we see this destruction with the increasing occurrence of road rage, office shootings, high school. club and concert killing sprees—in short, with the prevalence of violence in America today—the attention given to acting-out, out-of-control anger may never have been greater.

It was with the help of my Auntie, who was also my Pastor and the Spirit of God that I was able to take control of the spirit of anger. She constantly challenged me to be accountable to this destructive spirit and she lead me out of the wilderness that anger had me wandering in. It wasn't easy to gain victory and I am always on guard to prevent this spirit from rearing its ugly head. And as I write this transparent thought the enemy tried it again to cause me to turn into that fighting bull. I have been tested by a spirit of disrespect that would have made Yo-Yo show up to settle the score. But I made choice to not allow anger rule me anymore and to let the Spirit of God to settle some scores. Now that's not to say I wasn't hot as fish grease when faced with the pettiness and messiness of the disrespect. But instead of Yo-Yo moving furniture, now Pastor Yolanda who is accountable to the Spirit of God does not react and express my emotions in ways that spread the harm around. It's a natural reaction to get angry. It is simply an emotion, a God-given part of life as a human being. It's a natural reaction to threats or injuries, however left to fester and grow, anger can wreak havoc on a soul.

​It important to be clear that anger in itself is not sin. Our Lord talks about a righteous anger which arises from the virtue of zeal, in cooperation with the Holy Spirit which often called “righteous indignation.” We find God gets angry (Psalm 7:11; Mark 3:5), and believers are commanded to be angry (Ephesians 4:26). There is also the positive value of anger that leads to the protection of others nor to self-defense. When we use our anger to motivate us to change something in our life, anger ends up being good and helpful. But anger for many people results in irritability, rage, wrath, stress, resentment, loss of confidence, depression and other negative behaviors. This type of anger is deadly.

That's why we can "be angry, but sin not." (Ephesians 4:26-32) But many people struggle to express their anger in a healthy manner. Some people hold their anger in and others are quick to explode in an outburst. Your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline, your rate of breathing increases and your body's muscles tense up. It is difficult to relax from an angry state quickly. The adrenaline-caused arousal that occurs during anger lasts a very long time sometimes hours or days. And this lowers the anger threshold, making it easier to get angry again later on. It takes a rather long time for the body to return to the resting state. No matter how we express it if we’re not in control of our anger it can get the best of us. That's why I had to work thru my own internal issues, commit fully and be open to the process of being delivered from the anger that caused me to rage and then ultimately be out of His will. I wanted to possess a righteous anger that caused me to advance His Kingdom not tear it down. If you ever want to understand your anger, you have to look this way (inward), because your anger is connected not just to events outside of you; your anger is connected to something going on inside of you. Ask yourself how do you generally respond when you are angry? Think of a time during the past week when you felt your emotions changing in the direction of impatience and anger. How does your anger shows itself. Irritation? Yelling or screaming? Explosions? Acts of fury on behalf of rescuing, defending or preserving someone else?  Do you dwell on all the dark things that others have done? Do you think about destroying someone’s reputation because of what they did to you? Do you start off expressing right anger, but then it changes and becomes mean and destructive? You will never gain ground with your anger unless you get this. I had to get that I could not be the angry, cussing and fighting Pastor, that is NOT a good look. Furthermore, I personally have seen the effects that anger has on the physical body and that's why I have created conscious and unconscious processes to deal with my angry feeling which includes sometimes being silent or other times expressing them in an assertive, but non-aggressive, manner.

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“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” – Aristotle

We cannot control how others act or respond, but we can make the changes that need to be made on our part to not fell prey to the attack. Overcoming anger is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, studying the Word, and reliance upon God’s Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. We may have allowed anger to become entrenched in our lives by habitual practice, but we can also practice responding correctly until that, too, becomes a habit and God is glorified in our response. Lets not take for granted this teaching from Jesus. Today pray on releasing the anger so that you sin not and ask the Lord to fill you with His Holy Presence so that there will not be any room for anger to make you so angry that you lose control. 

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